So I’ve decided to quit smoking cigarettes again. Ive tried this twice before. Once I went 8 days and then bought a pack on the way home from work. The other time, I went three days. The problem both times (I think) has been facing the difficulty of the task; months (if not years) of cravings, irritability, and general discomfort is not an appealing prospect. This time I’ve armed myself with a box of nicotine transdermal patches (the patch) couressy of the Commonwealth of massachusetts.
The patch system works thus: You have four different strengths of patch in the box. An average smoker (pack-a-day plus) starts with level one for X weeks, then weens down to level 2, etc. Smokers like me, who smoke less than 10 per day on average, are instructed to start at level 2, which is a 14MG dosage over 24 hours. I think my biggest difficulty is that I tend to smoke less that FIVE a day, except on weekend nights at parties. So even the 14MG dose is pretty strong for me, especially during the day, when I tend not to smoke at all.
Anyway, the first night was a complete disaster. Despite the warnings of just about everone I know, I followed the instructions on the box and left the patch on overnight. Do not attempt this. EVER. You will be rewarded with the worst, least restfull night of sleep you have ever had. As an extra bonus, your night will be chock full of the most ball-shrivellingly terrifying nightmares you have ever had. Your dreams will be filled with images of such pure, unadulterated evil, that your mind’s ability to withstand them without snapping will force you to question the existence of god, the devil, and your mortal motherfucking soul.
So yeah, try to avoid that.
Then last night, I slipped and smoked three butts. (don’t worry, I took the patch off first). This leads me to believe that my smoking habit has less to do with an addiction to nicotine, and more to do with a compulsive habit. (insert your best “oral fixation” joke here). Luckily, I am not discouraged by this lapse. The literature that came with the patch stresses that you will lapse and smoke, but that you must not give up. Having one (or three) one night doesn’t mean that im not quitting. It just means I fucked up.
So I’ll keep you up to date, my dear Zona, with my progress. Hopefully I can do it this time. I’m tired of butts anyway. As Renton said, “with God’s help, I will conquer this terrible affliction”.
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