scars

im at work, its 1/4 to 10pm, and im bored. i started thinking about scars. ive got lots of them so i decided to list them in no particular order. i know this isnt the kind of thing that anybody gives a shit about but you know what? i dont give a shit about that. so without further ado...

MY SCARS.

1- location: right ankle

shape: crescent

size: .5''x.8"

color: white

orgin: a ceramic soapdish snapped off the wall of katelyn's old shower when i put my foot on it to wash my toes. the goddamned thing fell on my ankle and sliced it open so deep that i could clearly see my ankle bone. i didnt have insurance, so i put a bandaid on it and hoped for the best.



2-location: right shin

shape: just like Sardinia

size: 2"x1"

color: purplish

orgin: in 8th grade i tried to jump onto a lab table without using my hands. i left a wad of skin on the table edge and freaked out all the girls in the class. then i bled all over my new sox.



3- location: all over pelvic region, front and back

shape: slug shaped

size: varies, average 8"x1.5"

color: white

orgin: tried to fuck a badger. no, really. actually these are from a radical treatment for kidney disease in 99-01. you decide.

4- location: inside left bicep

shape: torpedo shaped with stitch marks visible lateraly

size: 2"x5"

color: dark purple

orgin: climbed a baseball backstop at cub scout camp (literaly the minute i got there). tried to reach over the top to grab a birds nest, and my feet slipped. the top of the chain link went into my arm and actually suspended me for a few seconds before i fell. when i got up i looked at my arm and there was fat pouring out of it, which is just disgusting if youve ever seen it. i then proceded to bleed all over the back of the scoutmasters car as he rushed me to the er, where a visible drunk orderly sewed me up. he did such a horrible job you can still see the stitch marks 20 years later. capital.

5- location: both armpits

shape: same as 4

size: same as 4

color: varies dramatically for some reason

orgin: i was in florida in 1991 and an aligator tried to eat a small puppy right in front of me. i was able to get the puppy away from the gator, but not without a fight. unfortunately, the puppy and the aligator both died, and i nearly bled to death and had to live off of rotten vegetation for a week as i dragged myself out of the swamp using only my chin. or, same as 4.


6- location left middle finger, tip

size: tiny

shape: like a tiny smile

color: barely visible.

orgin: i was building a dormer on a house in '01 and i got careless (i.e. stoned) with the nailgun and wound up with a 5" framing spike through my finger. i couldnt pull it out, so i cut the skin around it with my utility knife and it fell out. luckily, it was a brand new, galvanized nail. i didnt have insurance so i put duct tape on it and then went home, washed it out, and bandaided it. it healed suprisingly well and the scar is now so faint that i sometimes forget which hand its on.

well, thats it. i thought i had more than that. maybe i do and ive forgotten some. maybe not. the truth is i dont care, im bored. im going home in 15 minutes to drink a beer and then fall asleep so i can wake up and come back to work. god bless the republic. god damn the state.

Exhaustion, physical and mental

im nearing the end of an entire week of double shifts. 10 to 10 in front of this monitor setting up vacations for other people. the mind and spirit reel. i hallucinated today that their was a cat under my desk. felt it rub against my leg. ive been eating cold pizza thats been sitting in the breakroom since wednessday and drinking "colombian supremo" that comes in single serving pods.

katelyn has been doing the brunt of the moving in my absence and i feel horrible about it. i tell myself that when my next paycheck comes this will all be worth it. it had goddamned better be. despite my whinning, i fully intend to do this again next week. and the next. if im home alone i will lose all semblance of sanity and/or responsibility. i must push on, brave reader. i must bring home the bread.

im looking forward to monday- my cable gets installed! and internet! and i have the day off! pile of joy! unfortunately on sunday, instead of spending the day relaxing with katelyn, i spend the day moving furniture. IF i can find a truck to use for free. anybody got a truck i can use on sunday? you can use my jeep. just dont take it on the highway or it will scare the bejesus out of you...

New Digs: cat pee and motion detecting lights

last night was our first night in the new Watertown base. ben helped me move the bed over durring the day, and then later last night katelyn and i brought the cats. aparently one of them (i suspect doolin) had a bit of an accident in the cat carrier, and when we got to the apartment they both ran out covered in piss. as if the move wasnt traumatic enough for them, they got peed on. and then i gave them a bath in the kitchen sink, which basically consisted of me trying to hold an enraged explosion of claws and teeth under the tap while getting laccerated repeatedly about the arms and legs.

then bomba ran and hid under the bed, while doolin went exploring. he quickly found his favourite perch on top of the cupboard. bomba came out eventually and everything went pretty well from there.

aparently though katelyn got no sleep. i was snorring (allegedly), and aparently there is some goddmned motion-sensing light that kept going off all night, shining direcly into our bedroom window. so im outside in my boxers at 3am trying to figure out a way to disable the thing, and i nearly got up on the ladder, but then i realized that such a course of action would likely result in my arrest.

also, the shower is weak. i mean it feels like someone is pouring a flowerpot on you. i need to figure out a fix for both of these things soon.

everything else is great, and hopefully soon we will be having a housewarming party. ill get some pics up soon.

i done fucked up

so a few weeks ago at the office, they are assigning schedules. I knew i was gonna get a shitty one, as the new guy. It came down to either sunday-thursday 2nd shift, or tuesday- saturday, 2nd shift. I needed that sunday off. That one sunday. Just the one. So what did i do? I erased all of my friday and saturday nights for the forseable future. Didnt even realize it until last weekend. This should teach me to not make important decisions when im sober, but it wont.